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Why doesn’t the other person want to be as serious as you?
There are few things more frustrating than when one person wants to take the relationship to a serious level and the other doesn’t. It can be confusing and painful to try to work it out and answer the question “why?” Why won’t that other person get serious with you? I can’t tell you exactly why in every case. However, here are a few things to think about.
First, you’ve got to look at your expectations in dating. It could be that the less than serious person doesn’t see themselves getting serious until later on in life. They may have goals and plans for college and do not want to put them at risk. They may see dating as a time to be having fun and do not think being serious is all that fun. They are not ready for a serious relationship. If that is the case, you may be wasting your time if you expect to be serious with the person.
Second, they may be losing interest because you have moved faster than they. It may sound like playing games, but it is just a natural happening in relationships. If they think they “have” you, the attraction goes down because the “thrill of the chase” is gone. Also, the other person may feel awkward about your strong feelings. If you want to continue to give the relationship a shot, you may want to back off some. If they see they don’t “have” you like they thought, the attraction could grow stronger again.
Third, you may be unrealistic with your feelings. I know this is a borderline offensive thing to say. I agree that everyone has a right to feel how they feel, but it doesn’t mean it is realistic. When you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you don’t know why you feel angry and grumpy, you just do. So ask yourself the question: “Why do I want to be serious?” If it doesn’t go beyond the fact that they are nice and look good, then you may be unrealistic. A serious relationship requires more than good manners and looks. It requires trust, integrity, common goals and values, commitment, and excitement and time. If you are being unrealistic, the other person probably sees it and it’s a big turn-off for them. I suggest keeping your feelings to yourself until you begin seeing the other person feeling the same way.
Posted by: JasonH on 12/9 at 12:38pm 0 Comments
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