I remember it like it was yesterday, I was 18 years old and I had been having a crush on this guy since I was like 15 and he asked me if I was hungry. Excited that he was paying me any attention I said, “yes” and he said ‘Well, me and some of my family are headed to eat. You are welcome to come if you would like.’ We get to the restaurant. I see him give the lady the money and proceed in so I start to walk behind him. The lady stops me and says that he only paid for himself. I am puzzled and not wanting to be further embarrassed I pay for my food and walk to the table. At this point I can’t really enjoy my food anymore cause I want to ask him why he did not pay for my food, but not in front of everyone. We get back to his car and I finally get up the nerve to ask him about it and he says. “Oh I did not know you took it that way.” I say, “Well, you asked me to come.” He laughs and says, ‘I asked if you were hungry and that me and my family were headed to eat that I could join them.’ I sat in silence for a while and really thought about what he said. Good thing I had some money because I would have been totally embarrassed.
The one thing that I should never have done was assume that he was going to pay for my meal. Since I was not 100% sure, I should have asked him before saying I wanted to go and not understanding what the arrangement was. It was not like he was asking me out on a date or anything. I was young and had a lot of misconceptions about who is supposed to pay and when.
I think that whoever asks the person out on the date should at least be prepared to pay. Depending on the situation the guy will most likely take the bill, but young ladies it never hurts to offer to pay. Ask questions and be clear before leaving for the date if he is paying. This clears up any confusion. No one likes to feel like they have to do anything. It should be because they want to and both people want to enjoy the others’ company. When setting up a date, both teens need to have money. This is a safety precaution for emergencies and maybe if the guy pays for dinner the girl can pay for the movies. There is nothing wrong with switching it up a bit. There is nothing wrong with talking about who is going to pay and sharing the responsibility.
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My girlfriend and I had the opposite problem for a while. We’d go out to eat, she would start to pay and I would push my credit card in front of hers. She got pretty upset every time I did that. The key was communication. I needed to ask her, before we went into the restaurant, “I’d like to pay for both of us. Is that okay?”
