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Did you just say you love me?
3 weeks into a dating relationship is still a time of excitement. You are still getting to know who this very attractive person is that you’ve been spending time with. You’ve talked a ton on the phone, sent millions of texts back and forth (thankfully you have an unlimited txting plan), held hands, and maybe even kissed a few times. You are at the end of another incredible date and as you part ways, that wonderful, exciting, attractive person says, “I love you.” Hmmm.
Your mind races with how scary these three little words can be…one word for each week you’ve been together. What exactly do they mean here? Do they mean: “I’ve grown to care about you since we’ve met,” or, “You are fun to be around,” or, “I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I thought I’d say this?” Yet what if they mean, “You’re my soul mate…the one that completes me,” or, “You’re the one I’ve been dreaming about since I was a child,” or, “I want to marry you,” or even worse, “I plan to stalk you until you love me back???”
Many people see a difference in saying, “I love you,” and “I’m in love with you,” but how in the world can you tell what this person means? If you freak out, they’re gonna end up saying they didn’t mean it like that. If you figure they mean something mild and you say, “I love you” back to them, they might take it the wrong way. We may say we know the difference, but when you factor in your emotions, and someone standing there face to face with you, it can get confusing. So how do you handle it?
I think the “love” word should be off the table. You just don’t say it. A safe time to introduce that language to describe your relationship should be after at least a year. Why a year? Most relationships break up after 3 months, and even those that make it further rarely make it past 6 months (though if it makes it past 7 months it doesn’t mean it’s true love necessarily). It is important to avoid the emotional roller coaster the “love” word brings. How many times have you heard a couple fighting and they say something like, “You said you loved me?” Don’t use love in the first year is how to handle it and if someone else says it, put it on the table right away that it is inappropriate to use. Challenge them. You could prevent getting too involved with a potential stalker.
Posted by: JasonH on 5/27 at 10:51am 0 Comments
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