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Did you just say you love me?
3 weeks into a dating relationship is still a time of excitement. You are still getting to know who this very attractive person is that you’ve been spending time with. You’ve talked a ton on the phone, sent millions of texts back and forth (thankfully you have an unlimited txting plan), held hands, and maybe even kissed a few times. You are at the end of another incredible date and as you part ways, that wonderful, exciting, attractive person says, “I love you.” Hmmm.
Your mind races with how scary these three little words can be…one word for each week you’ve been together. What exactly do they mean here? Do they mean: “I’ve grown to care about you since we’ve met,” or, “You are fun to be around,” or, “I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I thought I’d say this?” Yet what if they mean, “You’re my soul mate…the one that completes me,” or, “You’re the one I’ve been dreaming about since I was a child,” or, “I want to marry you,” or even worse, “I plan to stalk you until you love me back???”
Many people see a difference in saying, “I love you,” and “I’m in love with you,” but how in the world can you tell what this person means? If you freak out, they’re gonna end up saying they didn’t mean it like that. If you figure they mean something mild and you say, “I love you” back to them, they might take it the wrong way. We may say we know the difference, but when you factor in your emotions, and someone standing there face to face with you, it can get confusing. So how do you handle it?
I think the “love” word should be off the table. You just don’t say it. A safe time to introduce that language to describe your relationship should be after at least a year. Why a year? Most relationships break up after 3 months, and even those that make it further rarely make it past 6 months (though if it makes it past 7 months it doesn’t mean it’s true love necessarily). It is important to avoid the emotional roller coaster the “love” word brings. How many times have you heard a couple fighting and they say something like, “You said you loved me?” Don’t use love in the first year is how to handle it and if someone else says it, put it on the table right away that it is inappropriate to use. Challenge them. You could prevent getting too involved with a potential stalker.
Posted by: JasonH on 5/27 at 10:51am 0 Comments
Is it okay to date two people at once…
“Is it okay to date two people at once?” This is not an easy question to answer. Many people have their own reasons or explanations as to why they think it is “okay” or “not okay” to date multiple people. When I think of dating I think of hanging out with friends on group dates and getting to know people.
Sometimes when two people start spending extended periods of time together and the conversation topics change from buddies hanging to expressing feelings or a strong attraction for one another, your relationship has taken on another dynamic. Before your feelings go too far, you might want to make sure that the other person in this relationship is feeling the same way about you.
Communication is key in any relationship. Ask questions if there is something that you do not understand so that you have clarification at all times. This will keep you from getting your feelings hurt by thinking someone is interested in you when they are not.
In my opinion it is not okay to “seriously” date two people at the same time. If you really like a person give your friendship a chance to grow and have fun together. If you happen to be interested in multiple people and are not sure which one you would like to date seriously, be honest and don’t keep anyone in the dark. If you have to lie about it then you should not be doing it. My good friends…. the truth will keep you in the clear at all times.
Posted by: Its Nori Nori on 5/27 at 12:23am 0 Comments
Should I Think Of Marriage Before I’m Even In College?
We’ve always heard the stories of little girls who dream about their wedding day since age five. Is this weird? No. We are all born with a desire for relationship and one of the strongest relationships is marriage. But should we even think about marriage when we’re just having fun in high school? I’m not saying marriage should always be on our minds, but we do need to consider the importance of relationships. We have to take relationships seriously because we are shaped by our experiences. In other words, habits we have in relationships now will carry over into our relationships in the future. As you read this, I bet your saying, “yeah, but people change.” It is rare that a person’s personality changes, but their habits may change. BUT NOT OVERNIGHT! For example, if a person has issues with addiction in high school they will probably always have issues with addiction, BUT how they handle dealing with addiction may change over time. Make no mistake, what a person does in high school will impact their future relationships. If you want to have a healthy marriage in the future you will be wise to be careful what you do with relationships in high school. Believe it or not, you really are preparing for marriage now even though it may not be on your radar at the moment.
Posted by: Deborah on 5/26 at 8:04pm 0 Comments
