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What a good relationship IS
Dating relationships can be a lot of fun, but also a lot of drama. Most people I talk to really want to avoid all the drama: fights in public, late night phone calls hashing out an argument though you can’t seem to remember how it began, jealousy and betrayal. The list of what is bad about a relationship can go on forever. Most of us know what a good relationship is NOT, but how do we know what a good relationship IS?
The foundation for a good dating relationship starts with patience. The relationship should develop naturally in its own time. The partners do not need to compare themselves to everyone else and are content to move at their own pace. Otherwise, the dating relationship becomes more about what others think rather than discovering one another. Second, the foundation should have trust and/or respect. The partners do not run around talking about their private business with everyone else. Each person is able to put themselves in the other person’s shoes in conflict to better understand one another. They don’t force or manipulate each other to do things they do not want to do. Third, a good relationship has great communication. Many folks have expectations of dating that they never communicate which typically leads to conflict. Yet a good dating relationship expresses expectations, discusses true feelings, and allows for each other to own their opinions, even if you don’t agree on things. Finally, a good relationship is supportive of each other’s individual and shared goals. Each wants the best for the other person and stops short of trying to change the other. They are genuinely happy for their success and push aside jealousy. They want the other’s goals to be achieved, even at the sacrifice of their time together, or the actual dating relationship. Their individuality is highly respected. Why settle for less than these characteristics?
Posted by: JasonH on 10/11 at 10:45pm 0 Comments
Should a SENIOR date a FRESHMAN
I have had a lot of teens ask this question throughout different classes that I have taught and I must say this always turns into a big discussion. There are the students that do not see anything wrong with it and there are the students that see everything wrong with it. What I can do is share my experience or story and hopefully this helps someone out. I was a freshmen and I had the biggest crush on this senior. He was my first real crush. I was in JROTC and I needed a date for the Military Ball. It took me a few days to get up the courage to ask him to the ball. I will never forget it, I’m standing outside of my science class and he walks by. I stopped him and we chit chatted for a while and then right when he was about to walk away I asked him would he attend the Military Ball with me. He smiled, and politely declined my offer. I was crushed. I felt like crying a river right there in his face but I did not cry I just gathered myself long enough to ask him why?. He said, “Your a freshmen and I’m a senior, your just starting high school and I’m leaving high school. We are in different places in our lives. It just doesn’t seem right but thanks and I hope you have a great time”.
At the time I did not understand, but a few years down the road when I became a senior in high school and a freshmen had a crush on me and wanted me to attend the Military Ball with him; I remembered what he had told me. We were on two different levels, two different plains in our lives. I was fresh out of middle school and honestly we did not have much to talk about at the time. Should a senior date a freshmen? I encourage you to think about it and know what is best for you. Don’t let peer pressure get the best of you and be willing to make the mature decision and don’t rush high school. Enjoy each grade level for what it is and have a great high school experience.
Posted by: Its Nori Nori on 10/5 at 11:46am 4 Comments
Is Kissing That Serious?
When should you consider kissing someone when dating? The answer depends on what kind of kissing we’re talking about. If this is the peck on the cheek variety, it is not something to worry about. However, if we are talking about a French kiss (which is what most folks are doing), then I believe there needs to be some major components in the relationship established beforehand. First, you need to know one another and I don’t simply mean just know names. By knowing I mean that you hang out long enough to know the true person. That leads to the next component which is trust. You should feel safe enough with the other person that you have confidence that they will not physically or emotionally harm you. This develops a relationship in which you can rely on one another to keep each other’s best interests in mind. This is the type of relationship you can commit to, the last component that should be in place. You should be exclusively for one another in the relationship.
You may say, “Jason, you are being too serious. It’s just a little kissing.” I understand that kissing is something that is common in relationships, and that kissing doesn’t have to lead to other things physically, but it typically does lead to other things. Any love scene in a movie begins with a kiss for a reason. A kiss is like a switch for sexual desire. It turns it on. Your body tends to react quickly to the kissing and without strong willpower, it is ready for more. Can you trust this person to be looking out for you?
Am I being too serious about all this? Let me know what you think
Posted by: JasonH on 10/1 at 10:59am 6 Comments
