http://talktofriends.org/ask/ en julieb@firstthings.org Copyright 2010 2010-07-22T14:06:39+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/im_a_virgin/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/im_a_virgin/#When:13:06:39Z Stand your ground!  Maybe you want to set the record straight before you go out with them like telling them if you are dating me to get sex forget it.  There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin.  One out of 4 sexually active girls has a sexually transmitted disease - which means there’s a bunch of guys running around who are also infected.  Congratulations!  You don’t have to wonder if you are one of the four girls.  We wonder if those guys who look at you different are interested in a real relationship or just sex…........ 2010-07-22T13:06:39+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/does_he_want_to_break_up_with_me/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/does_he_want_to_break_up_with_me/#When:13:04:56Z That’s a tough question.  Why don’t you ask him? 2010-07-22T13:04:56+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/should_i_break_up_with_her/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/should_i_break_up_with_her/#When:12:57:57Z Sounds like you have already moved on, which is okay!  You just need to tell her.  What you are saying is legit.  The whole concept of dating is that you aren’t stuck in a relationship that isn’t working.  Dating should be fun and enjoyable and you are clearly not having fun any more…..and neither is she.  Also, there is nothing wrong with taking a break in a relationship.  You might find that you really like her OR you might discover she is not the one for you. 2010-07-22T12:57:57+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/why_should_you_trust_him/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/why_should_you_trust_him/#When:12:48:49Z Healthy relationships don’t have this much drama.  Trust is core for any relationship to be good.  People who aren’t doing anything wrong don’t go crazy when you ask them questions about who they are texting.  You said you were lying on your boyfriend’s bed with him and he is texting his ex that you thought he wasn’t talking to anymore?????????  It sounds like there are a lot questionable things going on.  Don’t you think you deserve better?  Trust your gut! 2010-07-22T12:48:49+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/we_fight_all_the_time/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/we_fight_all_the_time/#When:12:35:01Z People who love each other very much don’t argue all the time.  This should be a red flag to you.  Why are you trying so hard to make this relationship work?  A baby certainly will not help a relationship that is in trouble.  Babies create tremendous stress on a relationship.  We would encourage you to step back and examine this relationship.  When you love someone, yes there will be disagreements, but not all the time.  It is easy to be around that person.  You can trust and depend on them to do the right thing.  People are respectful and honoring of each other.  Have you thought about attending a relationship skills class to see if you can improve your relationship?  http://talktofriends.org/classes/  Think about the environment you would be bringing a baby into.  Even if things get better for a short period of time how do you know they will stay that way.  Babies are a great gift in a committed, married relationship where two people understand it isn’t all about them. 2010-07-22T12:35:01+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/sex_and_love/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/sex_and_love/#When:12:29:42Z If you didn’t love the person before you had sex, what would make you think you would love them after sex?  Believe it or not, healthy relationships don’t center around sex.  Sex doesn’t make you fall in love.  If you really want to learn to love someone nix the sex and see if you like his personality, if you share common interests, enjoy just spending time together and whether or not he is trustworthy.  If your relationship with this guy is all physical, that’s not a real relationship.  http://talktofriends.org/blog/comments/what_a_good_relationship_is/ 2010-07-22T12:29:42+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/more_than_a_friend/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/more_than_a_friend/#When:11:38:07Z I guess we are wondering why you would ask him again.  Having a best friend like him is pretty rare.  Even the way he answered you was respectful and honest.  It sounds like he is a really good guy.  If you push this because you like him as more than a friend, you risk losing a best friend because the relationship will probably get weird.  It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.  Most healthy relationships begin with a solid friendship.  Instead of trying to move from a friendship to something more, have you thought about just continuing to be great friends and seeing where it goes over time? 2010-05-27T11:38:07+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/what_if_he_leaves/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/what_if_he_leaves/#When:15:44:01Z Expecting a child is a big deal, expecting twins is an even BIGGER DEAL.  If he’s not willing to sit down and talk, get both your parents involved.  Supporting and taking care of twins is a lot of responsibility and he needs to bear his part of the load.  As their father, he is just as responsible for taking care of your babies and preparing for their future as you are.  He needs to be present and active in every part of their lives.  Your children deserve that.  You’ve stepped out of the teenage role into parenthood.  You both are going to have to step up to the plate and prepare for the future of your children. Being a parent is stressful and complicated.  Being a teen parent is even more so.  One decision that you must make is not to be in an unhealthy relationship.  If you are always worrying that he is going to walk out of your relationship that is not healthy.  Another important decision that the two of you must make is how you will care for your children. .  If you are in the Chattanooga area we have a class called Love’s Cradle for non-married expectant parents that you might find helpful.  You can take it as a couple or individually.  It is free.  For more information, click here.  You guys need to have a serious sit down SOON! 2010-05-19T15:44:01+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/whats_up_with_that/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/whats_up_with_that/#When:11:34:36Z Maybe he just doesn’t like kissing.  Not everybody does. 2010-05-19T11:34:36+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/any_tips_for_helping_me_snag_a_boyfriend/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/any_tips_for_helping_me_snag_a_boyfriend/#When:11:27:39Z “Snag a boyfriend”!  Why don’t you change that to “find a friend who is male”?  Relationships are best when they start off slow and as friendships.  The more you get to know about him like: what he likes to do, what he doesn’t like, his goals, what you two have in common, and if he is respectful, and trustworthy, the more you will know whether or not he is boyfriend material.  Being in a relationship is more than just “snagging a boyfriend”.  Relationships take work and maturity.  Slow down! Guard your heart, don’t be too anxious.  It’s ok to just be friends with a guy.  He doesn’t have to be your boyfriend.  Enjoy going on group dates.  You have plenty of time to find Mr. Right.  2010-05-19T11:27:39+00:00