http://talktofriends.org/ask/ en julieb@firstthings.org Copyright 2011 2011-05-26T13:46:29+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/i_like_2_guys/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/i_like_2_guys/#When:12:46:29Z Believe it or not you are on the right track.  You’re considering “what’s best for you” as the number one thing and you’re comparing character qualities of these two guys. Along with being caring, loving and their reputation, you should consider trustworthiness, honesty, kindness, his temperament (does he get angry easily), is he a good listener, does he make good decisions, does he have goals for the future, how well does he get along with others and what you have in common are just a few of the things you should consider.  Another thing you want to pay attention to is what your friends and family think about the guys you are dating? Sometimes when you are in the dating relationship you can’t see stuff that other people see. It takes time to find out these things so slow down. You have your whole…life ahead of you.  2011-05-26T12:46:29+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/does_he_love_me1/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/does_he_love_me1/#When:13:38:36Z Move on!  Actions speak louder than words.  His actions reveal more about who he is than his words.  Is this what you want for your life and the life of your child?  If he really loved you he would not have done anything to put you in the position you are in now.  Every decision you make from this point forward not only affects you, it affects your child.  You might find this class very helpful.  http://firstthings.org/page/classes/loves-cradle 2011-03-25T13:38:36+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/why_does_she_keep_coming_back_to_me/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/why_does_she_keep_coming_back_to_me/#When:13:31:01Z Although it is tempting to focus on your ex and her stuff, the best thing you can do is focus on you and what is right for you.  Encourage her to seek wise counsel from a trusted adult who can help her walk through her issues. 2011-03-25T13:31:01+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/i_like_her_again/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/i_like_her_again/#When:13:56:29Z If it never worked out in middle school what makes you think it will work in high school?  Have you thought about why it didn’t work out?  How about working on your friendship first and see how that goes before you pursue a “long term relationship”? 2010-11-04T13:56:29+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/my_mom_cant_stand_him/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/my_mom_cant_stand_him/#When:13:50:05Z A couple of things come to mind – first, as much as it might bug you that your mom doesn’t like him don’t discard her opinion.  Sometimes when you are in the middle of something it is really hard to look at it objectively.  Don’t’ forget, your mom was a teenager once too!  Second, the fact that he broke up with you on Friday and wants to get back together a few days later would make us wonder what he is up to.  Does he really like you or is the relationship convenient?  Do you really like him and is he worth all this drama.  Dating should be fun and stress free.  Not knowing from one minute to the next where you stand with him is a pretty miserable way to have a relationship.  Maybe you should consider just giving your friendship some time and depending on how things go you may or may not want to get back together with him. 2010-11-04T13:50:05+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/why_is_he_so_jealous/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/why_is_he_so_jealous/#When:12:31:33Z We want to encourage you to talk with a trusted adult about this situation – Your parents, a teacher, your guidance counselor.  You are wise to be concerned that this could get out of hand.  You do not need to handle this by yourself.  This is not a good situation. About your boyfriend – getting extremely angry and protective does not equal love for you and it is not healthy.  If this young man will act this way towards a guy he also has the potential to act this way towards you – that is not acceptable behavior.  A few other things to consider – are your best friend’s actions appropriate?  There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, but if your friend is intentionally trying to instigate your boyfriend that is not good either. It sounds like you need to have to talk with your boyfriend and your friend about what is acceptable in a relationship and what’s not.  Find an adult you can trust and get them to process this through with you.  This is not something you just talk to your friends about – they don’t have any more wisdom than you do when it comes to relationships. 2010-10-28T12:31:33+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/why_doesnt_she_have_time_for_me/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/why_doesnt_she_have_time_for_me/#When:12:17:37Z The girl you are dating clearly considers school and these other activities a priority.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You have two choices – you can either change your expectations of the relationship or you can move on.  Consider the fact that you can really like someone and realize that at this moment in time it just isn’t meant to be. P.S. We did take note that she always has homework and never wants you to come by.  Maybe the relationship isn’t as perfect as you think it is.  2010-10-28T12:17:37+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/im_a_virgin/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/im_a_virgin/#When:14:06:39Z Stand your ground!  Maybe you want to set the record straight before you go out with them like telling them if you are dating me to get sex forget it.  There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin.  One out of 4 sexually active girls has a sexually transmitted disease - which means there’s a bunch of guys running around who are also infected.  Congratulations!  You don’t have to wonder if you are one of the four girls.  We wonder if those guys who look at you different are interested in a real relationship or just sex…........ 2010-07-22T14:06:39+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/does_he_want_to_break_up_with_me/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/does_he_want_to_break_up_with_me/#When:14:04:56Z That’s a tough question.  Why don’t you ask him? 2010-07-22T14:04:56+00:00 http://talktofriends.org/ask/should_i_break_up_with_her/ http://talktofriends.org/ask/should_i_break_up_with_her/#When:13:57:57Z Sounds like you have already moved on, which is okay!  You just need to tell her.  What you are saying is legit.  The whole concept of dating is that you aren’t stuck in a relationship that isn’t working.  Dating should be fun and enjoyable and you are clearly not having fun any more…..and neither is she.  Also, there is nothing wrong with taking a break in a relationship.  You might find that you really like her OR you might discover she is not the one for you. 2010-07-22T13:57:57+00:00