Ask an Expert

I like 2 guys

2011-05-26T12:46:29Z

Believe it or not you are on the right track. You’re considering “what’s best for you” as the number one thing and you’re comparing character qualities of these two guys. Along with being caring, loving and their reputation, you should consider trustworthiness, honesty, kindness, his temperament (does he get angry easily), is he a good listener, does he make good decisions, does he have goals for the future, how well does he get along with others and what you have in common are just a few of the things you should consider.
Another thing you want to pay attention to is what your friends and family think about the guys you are dating? Sometimes when you are in the dating relationship you can’t see stuff that other people see.
It takes time to find out these things so slow down. You have your whole…life ahead of you.

Does He Love Me

2011-03-25T13:38:36Z

Move on! Actions speak louder than words. His actions reveal more about who he is than his words. Is this what you want for your life and the life of your child? If he really loved you he would not have done anything to put you in the position you are in now. Every decision you make from this point forward not only affects you, it affects your child. You might find this class very helpful. http://firstthings.org/page/classes/loves-cradle

Why Does She Keep Coming Back to Me

2011-03-25T13:31:01Z

Although it is tempting to focus on your ex and her stuff, the best thing you can do is focus on you and what is right for you. Encourage her to seek wise counsel from a trusted adult who can help her walk through her issues.

I Like Her Again….

2010-11-04T13:56:29Z

If it never worked out in middle school what makes you think it will work in high school? Have you thought about why it didn’t work out? How about working on your friendship first and see how that goes before you pursue a “long term relationship”?

My Mom Can’t Stand Him

2010-11-04T13:50:05Z

A couple of things come to mind – first, as much as it might bug you that your mom doesn’t like him don’t discard her opinion. Sometimes when you are in the middle of something it is really hard to look at it objectively. Don’t’ forget, your mom was a teenager once too! Second, the fact that he broke up with you on Friday and wants to get back together a few days later would make us wonder what he is up to. Does he really like you or is the relationship convenient? Do you really like him and is he worth all this drama. Dating should be fun and stress free. Not knowing from one minute to the next where you stand with him is a pretty miserable way to have a relationship. Maybe you should consider just giving your friendship some time and depending on how things go you may or may not want to get back together with him.

Why is He so Jealous?

2010-10-28T12:31:33Z

We want to encourage you to talk with a trusted adult about this situation – Your parents, a teacher, your guidance counselor. You are wise to be concerned that this could get out of hand. You do not need to handle this by yourself. This is not a good situation.
About your boyfriend – getting extremely angry and protective does not equal love for you and it is not healthy. If this young man will act this way towards a guy he also has the potential to act this way towards you – that is not acceptable behavior.
A few other things to consider – are your best friend’s actions appropriate? There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, but if your friend is intentionally trying to instigate your boyfriend that is not good either.
It sounds like you need to have to talk with your boyfriend and your friend about what is acceptable in a relationship and what’s not. Find an adult you can trust and get them to process this through with you. This is not something you just talk to your friends about – they don’t have any more wisdom than you do when it comes to relationships.

Why Doesn’t She Have Time for Me

2010-10-28T12:17:37Z

The girl you are dating clearly considers school and these other activities a priority. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You have two choices – you can either change your expectations of the relationship or you can move on. Consider the fact that you can really like someone and realize that at this moment in time it just isn’t meant to be.
P.S. We did take note that she always has homework and never wants you to come by. Maybe the relationship isn’t as perfect as you think it is.

I’m a Virgin

2010-07-22T14:06:39Z

Stand your ground! Maybe you want to set the record straight before you go out with them like telling them if you are dating me to get sex forget it. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. One out of 4 sexually active girls has a sexually transmitted disease - which means there’s a bunch of guys running around who are also infected. Congratulations! You don’t have to wonder if you are one of the four girls. We wonder if those guys who look at you different are interested in a real relationship or just sex…........

Does He Want to Break Up with Me?

2010-07-22T14:04:56Z

That’s a tough question. Why don’t you ask him?

Should I Break Up With Her?

2010-07-22T13:57:57Z

Sounds like you have already moved on, which is okay! You just need to tell her. What you are saying is legit. The whole concept of dating is that you aren’t stuck in a relationship that isn’t working. Dating should be fun and enjoyable and you are clearly not having fun any more…..and neither is she. Also, there is nothing wrong with taking a break in a relationship. You might find that you really like her OR you might discover she is not the one for you.

Why Should You Trust Him?

2010-07-22T13:48:49Z

Healthy relationships don’t have this much drama. Trust is core for any relationship to be good. People who aren’t doing anything wrong don’t go crazy when you ask them questions about who they are texting. You said you were lying on your boyfriend’s bed with him and he is texting his ex that you thought he wasn’t talking to anymore????????? It sounds like there are a lot questionable things going on. Don’t you think you deserve better? Trust your gut!

We Fight All the Time

2010-07-22T13:35:01Z

People who love each other very much don’t argue all the time. This should be a red flag to you. Why are you trying so hard to make this relationship work? A baby certainly will not help a relationship that is in trouble. Babies create tremendous stress on a relationship. We would encourage you to step back and examine this relationship. When you love someone, yes there will be disagreements, but not all the time. It is easy to be around that person. You can trust and depend on them to do the right thing. People are respectful and honoring of each other. Have you thought about attending a relationship skills class to see if you can improve your relationship? http://talktofriends.org/classes/ Think about the environment you would be bringing a baby into. Even if things get better for a short period of time how do you know they will stay that way. Babies are a great gift in a committed, married relationship where two people understand it isn’t all about them.

Sex and Love

2010-07-22T13:29:42Z

If you didn’t love the person before you had sex, what would make you think you would love them after sex? Believe it or not, healthy relationships don’t center around sex. Sex doesn’t make you fall in love. If you really want to learn to love someone nix the sex and see if you like his personality, if you share common interests, enjoy just spending time together and whether or not he is trustworthy. If your relationship with this guy is all physical, that’s not a real relationship. http://talktofriends.org/blog/comments/what_a_good_relationship_is/

More than a friend

2010-05-27T12:38:07Z

I guess we are wondering why you would ask him again. Having a best friend like him is pretty rare. Even the way he answered you was respectful and honest. It sounds like he is a really good guy. If you push this because you like him as more than a friend, you risk losing a best friend because the relationship will probably get weird. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Most healthy relationships begin with a solid friendship. Instead of trying to move from a friendship to something more, have you thought about just continuing to be great friends and seeing where it goes over time?

What if he leaves?

2010-05-19T16:44:01Z

Expecting a child is a big deal, expecting twins is an even BIGGER DEAL. If he’s not willing to sit down and talk, get both your parents involved. Supporting and taking care of twins is a lot of responsibility and he needs to bear his part of the load. As their father, he is just as responsible for taking care of your babies and preparing for their future as you are. He needs to be present and active in every part of their lives. Your children deserve that. You’ve stepped out of the teenage role into parenthood. You both are going to have to step up to the plate and prepare for the future of your children.

Being a parent is stressful and complicated. Being a teen parent is even more so.

One decision that you must make is not to be in an unhealthy relationship. If you are always worrying that he is going to walk out of your relationship that is not healthy.

Another important decision that the two of you must make is how you will care for your children. .

If you are in the Chattanooga area we have a class called Love’s Cradle for non-married expectant parents that you might find helpful. You can take it as a couple or individually. It is free. For more information, click here.

You guys need to have a serious sit down SOON!