Ask an Expert

Does He Love Me

2011-03-25T13:38:36Z

Move on! Actions speak louder than words. His actions reveal more about who he is than his words. Is this what you want for your life and the life of your child? If he really loved you he would not have done anything to put you in the position you are in now. Every decision you make from this point forward not only affects you, it affects your child. You might find this class very helpful. http://firstthings.org/page/classes/loves-cradle

Why Doesn’t She Have Time for Me

2010-10-28T12:17:37Z

The girl you are dating clearly considers school and these other activities a priority. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You have two choices – you can either change your expectations of the relationship or you can move on. Consider the fact that you can really like someone and realize that at this moment in time it just isn’t meant to be.
P.S. We did take note that she always has homework and never wants you to come by. Maybe the relationship isn’t as perfect as you think it is.

I’m a Virgin

2010-07-22T14:06:39Z

Stand your ground! Maybe you want to set the record straight before you go out with them like telling them if you are dating me to get sex forget it. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. One out of 4 sexually active girls has a sexually transmitted disease - which means there’s a bunch of guys running around who are also infected. Congratulations! You don’t have to wonder if you are one of the four girls. We wonder if those guys who look at you different are interested in a real relationship or just sex…........

What’s up with that?

2010-05-19T12:34:36Z

Maybe he just doesn’t like kissing. Not everybody does.

Should it Really Be this Difficult?

2010-03-13T13:44:09Z

Dating relationships are interesting because no two people are exactly alike so there will always be things you disagree about. However, fighting all the time isn’t a sign of a great relationship. The good news is you are not married to this person, you are dating, him so don’t feel like it would be horrible thing to move on. It is VERY rare for someone to marry a high school sweetheart. The whole point of dating is to experience different personalities so you can learn what you like and what you don’t like. A healthy relationship can have challenging moments and disagreements, but overall the relationship is fun, respectful and honoring…. not a drag.

As far as changing your career choice – why would someone who truly loves and cares about you ask you to change your career choice?

Should I Worry about What Other People Think?

2010-03-13T13:40:25Z

For the most part we think you really answered the question for yourself. It sounds like another conversation with your dad would be a good thing to help you sort out this situation. As far as what other people will think, there are a few things we think you need to consider. First, what you do during your teen years will impact you later in life. Your reputation matters now and for the rest of your life. While you can’t always be worried about what everybody will think you need to be smart about who you hang out with and who you date. Second, is this guy good date material? Slow down and ask some questions like: Will he be respectful of you and your future? Why was your dad upset about you dating him in the first place? And, what do you think others will think if you date him and why?

Talking with your dad and answering these questions should help you decide what your next step should be.

Why won’t my mom let me date him?

2010-03-13T13:06:15Z

It is very flattering to have someone older who is attracted to you. In the process of being flattered you have to be smart about this relationship and ask yourself some tough questions like, why would a guy who is 20 be interested in a girl who is 16?? Life in general is very different for someone who is 20 – like he is out on his own and you are not, he is responsible for paying his own bills and you are not, he doesn’t have a curfew and you probably do, he can go places and do things that you can’t and shouldn’t. You guys are really at two very different places in life.

When it comes to dating it’s a good idea to date people where there is no more than 2 years age difference. More than that usually just creates a ton of problems.

As much as you probably don’t want to hear it, your mom is on the right track.

Why are they making fun of me?

2010-02-23T20:10:55Z

First of all, what they are doing is a form of bullying and that is not acceptable. Sometimes it’s a tough thing to do but, the best thing you can do is hold your head high and IGNORE them. You need to know that when people make fun of other people, it is a lot more about them and not the person/people they are making fun of. If it gets to the point where you feel like it is over the top, you need to talk with your parents or another trusted adult. Making fun of you is unacceptable. Talking with an adult who can help you put together a plan of action for dealing with them is a good idea. You are not helpless in this situation.

Bragging rights???

2010-01-29T13:14:45Z

Sometimes people don’t realize that they are braggers. There are those who want attention and think that bragging is the way to get it and there are others who feel very insecure and bragging is one way they feel like they can be bigger than they feel like they are deep down inside.

If your goal is to get them to stop bragging, it seems like you have a couple of options. You could tell them how you feel when they brag about themselves or every time they start to brag about something try to change the subject of conversation. If you tell them how you feel, you should be prepared for potential fallout. You might want to ask yourself if this is important enough to have to deal with the drama that could follow? In the event that they are not aware of how much they are bragging, trying to change the subject could send a message and help them think about other things.

Bottomline - If the bragging doesn’t stop you might want to look elsewhere for friends like yourself who are confident, secure and their main topic of conversation is not themselves.

Should I be Mad at Her?

2010-01-21T16:00:42Z

By definition, a friend is trustworthy and loyal. Clearly E was not either of those towards you. Lesson learned….hopefully. What will you accomplish by being mad at her or at yourself? Don’t waste your time. Remember how it felt to be dissed so you don’t turn around and do the exact same thing to someone else and move on.

What if I don’t have sex with him?

2010-01-21T15:45:49Z

It sounds like you guys have a good thing going on. Why would you want to totally complicate it with sex????? If you don’t have sex with him will he still want to be with you?

Should I tell him I like him?

2010-01-21T15:38:58Z

Dating relationships start out a lot better if you are friends first. Soooo, are you friends with any of his friends and is it possible to start hanging out with them? This would give you an opportunity to see how he acts around his friends. You may like what you see on the outside and how you THINK he is on the inside. Only time will tell if he is really good date material. We suggest you play it cool and don’t let on that you like him just yet.

Why does my mom act so crazy?

2010-01-10T02:14:41Z

Ask your Mom if you can sit down and talk with her for a moment. Tell her that you are concerned that she doesn’t trust you and that you want her to know that she can. Let her know that you are not having sex and you want her to be confident that you are going to do the right thing. If she has other concerns take the time to listen and share with her to put her at ease. Believe it or not, your mother was once a teenager. She’s very much aware of what teenagers do and are doing. In addition to that, teen pregnancy rates are off the charts. Your mother knows how difficult life can be for a teen mom and doesn’t want you to find yourself in that tough position. Sounds like your mother cares for you and wants what’s best for you. Let her know that you appreciate her concern for your safety and your future. Also, be careful that you are not doing anything or going places that make her feel that she can’t trust you. Your mother is full of wisdom and insight. So let her know that you want her to trust you and that you will come to her when you have problems, concerns or issues. She’ll appreciate that.

Should I Go Back to Him?

2010-01-10T02:10:34Z

So the other guy dumped you, broke your heart and you want him back anyway!! Well… that sounds pretty normal. When you fall in love with a person it’s hard to get them out of your mind. Since you didn’t say why you guys broke up, it’s hard for us to help you determine if the reason is serious enough for us to say “you should try to go back with him or you should never go back”. For whatever the reason, he ended it and you said you don’t know if he feels the same way about you, he’s not making any attempts to get back with you and you’ve moved on….....you need to keep moving. We don’t know what he’s using to lure you in, but you should be careful what you’re lured in by. Invest your time in finding out what you are looking for in a relationship and what characteristics you’re wanting in the person that you give your heart to. Trustworthiness, faithfulness, kindness, respectfulness, a caring personality, accountability, having goals and a bright future would be great traits to be lured in by. BTW, here’s how you guard yourself from being lured in by the wrong things and how you can keep your heart from being broken, take relationships slowly and be careful who you fall in love with.

I think I might have given my boyfriend mono

2010-01-10T02:02:12Z

As I’m sure you know Mono is a very serious condition. You should talk to him and let him know that you could have possibly given it to him. Although Mono is labeled “the kissing disease” you could have caught it from someone who coughed or sneezed in your presence. Mono can also be passed by drinking after someone and by sharing eating utensils, which is why you need to tell him so that he doesn’t pass it on to other family or friends. There are also other serious health issues that could occur without proper treatment.