Ask an Expert
"Should I break up with him?" |
Tuesday, November 24, 2009 Okay well, I’m dating this guy and when he gets upset or thinks he going to “lose me”, he hits things. I don’t think he would ever hit me, but you never know. I really like him, but he is just a little out of hand. He has started to do a little more drugs when he got with me, is it my fault? I’ve been telling him to chill out with all the hitting and drugs, and he has with the drugs. I don’t know what I should do, should I break up with him? Help :( Ok, this dude is dangerous. Break up with him. Don’t become a statistic. No, it is not your fault he is choosing to use drugs. Dating violence is unacceptable. When you mix alcohol and/or drugs with anger, then it’s not “if” he will hit you, it’s a matter of “when”. We strongly encourage you to talk with your parents or a trusted adult about this situation and let them help you come up with a plan. Make sure that you are not alone when you talk with him. Let him know that things are not working out between the two of you and you want to break off the relationship. This is a time when it would not be inappropriate to break up over the phone. He may try to change your mind by telling you he is going to hurt himself. This is a way of trying to control you. Don’t let him do it. Walk away and don’t go back. You cannot change him. Healthy dating relationships are based on non-violent behavior. Click here for more information. The dating abuse hotline is 866-331-9474.
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"Dating over the internet" |
I recently met this guy over the internet. He use to go to my school, but got transferred. He’s a year older than me. I know he’s “real” because my friends know him & I’ve seen him around, so I know he’s not a predator or anything like that. He wants to stay pure til marriage, doesn’t cuss, respects girls, & is a Christian. All in all, he’s close to perfection. We’ve been texting a lot & getting to know each other pretty well. I think about him all the time & he says the same about me. My question is - should we go on a date? Is it safe? Is it a good decision? HELP. Play it safe. If everything you’ve said is true, he won’t mind meeting your parents before taking you out on a date. Maybe he could come over for dinner or meet you all somewhere. After meeting your parents, a good first date would be a group date. The group date will make you feel safer and takes pressure off both of you. If you do end up going on a date with him make sure your parents know where you are going and what time you will return. Check out our low risk dating strategy. |
"How do I choose?" |
I like two guys. They both have shown me that they’re interested in me, too. They’re both GREAT; cute, funny, nice, sweet, smart, athletic, sensitive, & more. It’s almost like they’re equal. They both don’t want a “physical” relationship & they both don’t mind that I like another guy. The real question is - HOW DO I CHOOSE? Choosing will probably take some time. Why don’t you dig a little deeper and find out which one has similar interests, goals, hobbies and perspectives as yours. Another great gauge for choosing is parents and friends. A lot of times they see things you don’t see in the relationship or the guy’s personality.
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"Why won't she go out with me?" |
So me and this one girl have been friends for over two years. I really care about her, I’ve helped her with a lot before. We go to the same school but outside of that we never hang out or anything, we both know the reason and she’s even said the reason is me not being Christian. But every time I try to bring this up to her she gets real upset, then I feel bad that I made her upset, so I just keep trying to forget about it but I never really can. I feel like she’s already replaced my trust and compassion with another guy, and I really just want to be close to her again. Any ideas? From what you have said, your friend clearly has some dating guidelines in place for herself. That is not a bad thing – even though you don’t like it. That certainly does not mean you need to change, it just means she chooses not to date you. How about focusing on being a great friend? |
"My best friend is crazy about this guy" |
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 H E L P. I don’t know what to do. Why would anybody want to go out with a guy like that? He started rumors and didn’t apologize, which makes him dishonest and untrustworthy. Based on his behavior, he is the opposite of everything that great relationships are built on. Tell her SHE DESERVES BETTER!!!!!!! We have healthy dating relationship skills classes on a regular basis. How about encouraging her to come with you to a class? |
"Is he just shy" |
I liked this guy since school started in August. We would look at each other in the halls. I really liked him. We have this party three weeks into school. I was talking to my friend when he came up. We started to talk. My friend knew I liked him so she told him I wanted to go out with him. I was embarrassed to so I walked into the theater. He came and sat behind me. We started to talk. We really hit it off. I thought he liked me too. When we went back to school after the weekend he didn’t talk to me. Just looked at me and acted like he wanted to talk, but he didn’t. I knew he was shy so I just let it go for 2 weeks. Then I talked to him. He told me he liked me, but he didn’t know what to say after the party. He sat with me at lunch and we talked about our favorite bands. Its been 6 weeks. All he does is look at me and when we are in class he tries to avoid me. I really like him so I don’t know what to do. It is hard to know if he is just shy or if he doesn’t want to be anything more than a friend. We would encourage you to back off a bit. The best relationships get off to a slow start. A healthy relationship doesn’t have pressure or unrealistic expectations. He may be shy or quite frankly some people are not very conversational, but in fact are simply good listeners. Since you two have already talked about your favorite bands, you might also strike up a conversation with him about his interests, hobbies and goals. Knowing his interests and hobbies will give you more insight into who he is and an opportunity to find out what other things you guys might have in common. After trying to make conversation with him, if he continues to avoid you, it is probably time to move on. |
