Ask an Expert
"Should I go back to him?" |
Saturday, January 9, 2010 I cant get this dude out of my mind. I loved him at one point but he ended it and I was so heartbroken that I just really stopped talking to him. I eventually got over him, or thought I did. I moved on and now I have a boyfriend and we’ve been together for about a month now. But now I’m having second thoughts on our relationship because of the other dude. Its like he just knows how to lure me in. I don’t know if he feels the same way about me, but if he does I just don/t want to get hurt again…
So the other guy dumped you, broke your heart and you want him back anyway!! Well… that sounds pretty normal. When you fall in love with a person it’s hard to get them out of your mind. Since you didn’t say why you guys broke up, it’s hard for us to help you determine if the reason is serious enough for us to say “you should try to go back with him or you should never go back”. For whatever the reason, he ended it and you said you don’t know if he feels the same way about you, he’s not making any attempts to get back with you and you’ve moved on….....you need to keep moving. We don’t know what he’s using to lure you in, but you should be careful what you’re lured in by. Invest your time in finding out what you are looking for in a relationship and what characteristics you’re wanting in the person that you give your heart to. Trustworthiness, faithfulness, kindness, respectfulness, a caring personality, accountability, having goals and a bright future would be great traits to be lured in by. BTW, here’s how you guard yourself from being lured in by the wrong things and how you can keep your heart from being broken, take relationships slowly and be careful who you fall in love with. |
"I think I might have given my boyfriend mono" |
I just found out I have Mono, I’m on my meds now so I’ll be over it soon, but I told my boyfriend to go get checked just in case I might have passed it on to him, but he hasn’t yet. My sisters are telling me that he is sick too. I don’t want to force him in to going, but I’m very worried that I did pass it on to him. What should I do? Should I just keep telling him to go to the doctor or tell him one more time and leave it alone? As I’m sure you know Mono is a very serious condition. You should talk to him and let him know that you could have possibly given it to him. Although Mono is labeled “the kissing disease” you could have caught it from someone who coughed or sneezed in your presence. Mono can also be passed by drinking after someone and by sharing eating utensils, which is why you need to tell him so that he doesn’t pass it on to other family or friends. There are also other serious health issues that could occur without proper treatment. |
"Is he too old for me?" |
I like this guy that is almost three years older than me. Is he too old for me?
For teens, we suggest that two years be the maximum age difference. When the age difference between two people is minimal you are likely to have more things in common. Here is an example; if a girl is 16 she will generally have a curfew, if her boyfriend is 19 he most likely won’t have the same curfew. Because of the 3 year difference there may be difficulty in the relationship because he will have the liberty to go places and do things that she won’t. He will also likely have more mature interests than a 16 year old girl. This is just one problem that could occur. We strongly encourage you to look for someone close to your own age. |
"Hate being a Professional Third Wheel" |
I have two best friends who are both girls. We do everything together. Basically any spare second we have we prefer to spend with each other. There’s just one problem to this rosy situation: their going out. My two best friends have been dating for 14 months. This wouldn’t be a problem if it didn’t make me feel just epically awkward all the time. I literally hardly talk to anyone else and they’re obsessed with each other. I know how selfish all of this sounds, but it just gets so WEIRD sometimes and I’d rather be asking for help from (i.e complaining to) someone who I don’t know rather than them or **shudder** my parents. I’ve been third-wheeling for a year now and sometimes it just really hurts. I spend half the time on sleepovers out in the hall with a book while they do whatever (prefer not to think about that), but I can still hear them and it weirds me out. Look, none of us have any other friends and sometimes I feel like they’d honestly rather not have me around. They are my best friends, and I love them a lot, and I don’t want to leave them and try to find new best friends in a school where I haven’t talked to anyone else for three years, but sometimes I just can’t take it! I feel like I’m not needed, like I could jump off a bridge and two weeks later everything would be back to normal. The message they’re giving me is that they care about me, but not enough to stop ignoring me. I can smile, and I can deal with it, but I still hate it,and I’m not about to ask them to break up. But I’ve been a professional third wheel for over a year now (they think that’s a joke) and I really am getting tired of constantly going through the motions. What do I do to keep myself from going insane? (I’m sorry if this all sounds whiny, but I just can’t do it anymore. I needed someone to rant at.) -Thanks for listening, The Professional Third Wheel. Dear Professional Third Wheel, It seems like you’ve already seen the light. In your own words “The message they’re giving me is that they care about me, but not enough to stop ignoring me”. You have to make a decision for yourself. Healthy friendships don’t leave one friend out nor do they put you in weird or awkward situations. Not that you have to stop being friends with them, but you should find new friends who want to spend time with you and not dictate to you whether you can have other friends or not. When they get mad or cry because you want to have new friends that is their way of controlling you. This is an unhealthy friendship. No one should control another person in any relationship. Find some new friends to hang out with. “Real friends"who are considerate and want to spend time with you. |
"Why does he act like such a jerk?" |
I’m in love with the guy I’m dating, and he said he loves me, but he treats me like a toy. He ignores me when he wants to, laughs at me when I try to get close to him, and gives off an air of not really thinking of me as an equal. It’s driving me MAD, because the last thing I am is a needy clingy “b” who goes to pieces if a boy dumps me, but I really care about this guy, and it seemed like for a while he really cared about me. And when he’s not being a jackass he’s great to be around, but I’m starting to think it’s not worth it. I want to talk to him about it, and just tell him if he doesn’t treat me better then he’s out on his a , but 2) I’m not sure I can follow through on that threat. Bottom line, I’m in love with someone who may or may not be in love with me and treats me like crap, and I can’t find it within myself to mind. It’s driving me nuts. Help. Thanks. A healthy relationship starts with a ‘healthy you”. If you admit that he treats you like “crap, ignores you, laughs at you when you try to get close to him, may not be in love with you” and you’re in love with him…..why should he do anything any differently. You cannot change another person, but you can change you. Keep your sanity, show him that you respect yourself enough to kick him to the curb. You deserve better. |
"My parents are driving me crazy! What do I do?" |
Friday, December 11, 2009 Ok my parents are freaking out about my grades, “A your a straight b student with a lot to offer, I just don’t know who’s going to want to put u in their school!” My mom said that tonight! And I’m so annoyed with my dad blaming me for everything, mom freaking out about schools when I’m too “layed back” about it. I’ve tried everything to calm them down, but they always end up yelling at me! And I HATE it. They treat me like satins daughter, and my brothers like 2 of gods most precious things! I’m so sick of my family! I already get teased enough in school. I don’t wanna come home to a crazy environment anymore! What do I do? Question for you – Do you think your parents are really trying to make your life miserable or do you think they are truly concerned about your future? We’re guessing that they see real potential in you and are trying to encourage you to put more effort into your studies – even though you see it as “a crazy environment.” One option would be to ask your parents to sit down and have a calm discussion about your grades and school in general. A lot of teens we know don’t tell their parents stuff that goes on at school so their parents have no idea how stressed out they are about life – not to mention grades. Are you giving school your best effort or are you just getting by? Even though it seems like a real pain, your education is important and a great opportunity. Hang tough! Your parents clearly love you or they wouldn’t care how you were doing in school. Help them understand how to communicate with you better so it doesn’t feel like you are fighting all the time. |
