Ask an Expert
"Should it Really Be this Difficult?" |
Saturday, March 13, 2010 My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. Since it’s so close to our graduation, we feel as if our relationship will go a long way. I mean, I can tell that we’re more committed to each other than the average teenager is during high school. But I still have doubts of our future together, especially now more than ever. We’re fighting a lot more, but I thought it was just the time in our relationship where it’s really testing us if we can stay together. But should it really be this hard to tell if we are meant to be? I’m tired of fighting with him, even if it’s over the little things, but I feel like if we can’t fix the problem over small stuff, then how are we going to solve bigger ones in the future? We both plan on going to college and doing something with our lives. I’m determined on my career choice but if he doesn’t agree with it, I shouldn’t have to change, should I? Dating relationships are interesting because no two people are exactly alike so there will always be things you disagree about. However, fighting all the time isn’t a sign of a great relationship. The good news is you are not married to this person, you are dating, him so don’t feel like it would be horrible thing to move on. It is VERY rare for someone to marry a high school sweetheart. The whole point of dating is to experience different personalities so you can learn what you like and what you don’t like. A healthy relationship can have challenging moments and disagreements, but overall the relationship is fun, respectful and honoring…. not a drag. As far as changing your career choice – why would someone who truly loves and cares about you ask you to change your career choice?
|
"Should I Worry About What Other People Think?" |
I’ve been through a lot lately. I was dating a guy,that my parents didn’t like, behind their back. We snuck around for awhile and then we got caught by my parents. They were VERY mad and my dad even told me I could never talk to him again. He was my first love and I thought I would never get over him. A couple months went by and I was kind of talking to other guys, but nothing felt the same, I was so upset and hurt about what happened and just couldn’t forget about him. I talked to my dad one night about what had happened so long ago and he told me that if things would be different we could try it again. I was so excited, but whenever I would bring it or him up my dad would just blow it off. I’ve also talked to the guy that I went through so much trouble with and he said he still loved me and did want to get back together again. But here’s the problem, I know I love him and want to get back together with him but I keep thinking in my head what OTHER people are going to think about me or us. What do I do? I know I should probably talk to my dad again about all this, right? But what am I suppose to do about what other people think? For the most part we think you really answered the question for yourself. It sounds like another conversation with your dad would be a good thing to help you sort out this situation. As far as what other people will think, there are a few things we think you need to consider. First, what you do during your teen years will impact you later in life. Your reputation matters now and for the rest of your life. While you can’t always be worried about what everybody will think you need to be smart about who you hang out with and who you date. Second, is this guy good date material? Slow down and ask some questions like: Will he be respectful of you and your future? Why was your dad upset about you dating him in the first place? And, what do you think others will think if you date him and why? Talking with your dad and answering these questions should help you decide what your next step should be. |
"Why won't my mom let me date him?" |
I met this guy at work and its been a couple of months now. We talked for a while and completely fell in love. The only problem is I’m 16 and he’s 20. The way we act with each other you couldn’t tell there’s an age difference. We have a lot of fun and we really care about each other. My mom won’t let me date him though because he’s so much older than I am? I’ve tried everything to convince her and nothing has worked. Help? It is very flattering to have someone older who is attracted to you. In the process of being flattered you have to be smart about this relationship and ask yourself some tough questions like, why would a guy who is 20 be interested in a girl who is 16?? Life in general is very different for someone who is 20 – like he is out on his own and you are not, he is responsible for paying his own bills and you are not, he doesn’t have a curfew and you probably do, he can go places and do things that you can’t and shouldn’t. You guys are really at two very different places in life. When it comes to dating it’s a good idea to date people where there is no more than 2 years age difference. More than that usually just creates a ton of problems. As much as you probably don’t want to hear it, your mom is on the right track.
|
"Why are they making fun of me?" |
Tuesday, February 23, 2010 Ever since the 6th grade people have always labeled me as the “emo kid” I have no idea why!!!! All of the boys make fun of me and I do nothing to them. It makes me so mad I want to cry! I have never done anything to make them think I was “emo” so I don’t get it. What do I do? First of all, what they are doing is a form of bullying and that is not acceptable. Sometimes it’s a tough thing to do but, the best thing you can do is hold your head high and IGNORE them. You need to know that when people make fun of other people, it is a lot more about them and not the person/people they are making fun of. If it gets to the point where you feel like it is over the top, you need to talk with your parents or another trusted adult. Making fun of you is unacceptable. Talking with an adult who can help you put together a plan of action for dealing with them is a good idea. You are not helpless in this situation. |
"What if he says no?" |
I really like this guy and there’s the winter ball (god knows why they call it that) coming up in two weeks. It’s not like he doesn’t notice me he looks at me during class but I don’t know what that means. I want to go to the dance with him but what if he doesn’t ask me? How would I even approach him to ask him to the dance? What if he rejects me? Will it be extremely awkward now? It’s not unusual to feel a little awkward when you like someone and you’re not sure whether they feel the same way. Relationships are much better when you start off being friends. What if you approached him as you would a person that you just want to be friends with. Could you ask him to go to the dance just as friends? If he says no, let it go. If he says yes, enjoy the evening – relax and have fun. You have no idea what he will be like in a situation like that. Who knows, you may find out that he is cute, but has no personality OR you might find out he is a ton of fun.
|
"Bragging Rights???" |
Friday, January 29, 2010 I have these friends who have this non stop habit of bragging.One friend brags about how smart she is and all the good grades she gets and another brags about how so many guys like her.and another friends brags about how much money she has. I never brag.I cannot stand it. It bothers me because whenever I talk to them it seems that that’s all they wanna talk about and I have no interest in hearing about all that stuff again and again. So I wondering if it’s a good idea to talk to them about it or if it will bring up a whole bunch of unneeded drama. Should I tell them how I feel? Sometimes people don’t realize that they are braggers. There are those who want attention and think that bragging is the way to get it and there are others who feel very insecure and bragging is one way they feel like they can be bigger than they feel like they are deep down inside. If your goal is to get them to stop bragging, it seems like you have a couple of options. You could tell them how you feel when they brag about themselves or every time they start to brag about something try to change the subject of conversation. If you tell them how you feel, you should be prepared for potential fallout. You might want to ask yourself if this is important enough to have to deal with the drama that could follow? In the event that they are not aware of how much they are bragging, trying to change the subject could send a message and help them think about other things. Bottomline - If the bragging doesn’t stop you might want to look elsewhere for friends like yourself who are confident, secure and their main topic of conversation is not themselves.
|
